I tell others to be strong

But here I am crumbling inside

I always say don’t bottle up your feelings

But I put a tight lid on mine

I stress on letting go

But I find myself not moving on

I keep saying it’s going to be okay

But I’m losing hope for a better day

I encourage positivity

But I’m letting darkness get the best of me.

Oh, why then am I telling these lies?


Didn’t mean to hurt your feeling,

Wouldn’t even dream to see you cry;

How horrible to see you hurting,

I desperately want to die.

Everything became so twisted,

Nothing could be undone;

Some might say it was fated,

But I wished that I could run.

When your eyes were glazed and wet,

My heart was smashed to million pieces;

Yours was equally broken too, I bet,

Would it be enough with sorry and kisses?

I wanted to embrace you badly,

But my arms were frozen like ice;

You stared ahead blankly,

I didn’t even know how to apologise.

The silence was deadly deafening ,

And emotions were in chaos;

Your cold eyes remained unblinking,

The air filled with utmost loss.

Should I begin with sorry?

Would that take the sting away?

Would you believe such sob story,

When there’s nothing else to say?

It’s Not You


A friend once asked how everything was with my life then. She found most of the posts here a little bleak and wondered if I was okay. Maybe just maybe, the dark undertones were undeniably present. Anyhow I gave the standard positive reply …things couldn’t have been any better. A huge smile plastered across my face. Yup. That was it. But that was a lie.

Why would one lie about feelings? Isn’t it easier to spill it out so the world won’t get a chance to misunderstand? What’s there to lose but a couple of minutes, or a dry throat, or a bucket of tears, or simply some dignity?

All I know is this. I’m not comfortable reaching out to others over my troubles, no matter how big or small. These battles are mine to fight and I will do exactly that. When you see me and have a hunch that I’m struggling, just do one thing. Give me a genuine smile and a warm hug, then say a prayer quietly in your head. I’d appreciate it a lot. Really.

Your Feelings Are Yours

Keeping a positive outlook in life helps the mind to focus on the present instead of being stuck in the past and perhaps of its unpleasant memories. To remain this way, however, is not easy for you have to put lots of effort in believing it, even when you’re not. Being mentally strong isn’t easy because the contradicting voices in your head will be feeding the anxiety that you’ve been wanting so hard to control. Well, you can try praying, meditating, exercising, conscious breathing among others, in order for the anxiousness to improve. But, what if after keeping it together for a certain time, all of a sudden you snapped? Does it mean you are weak? Please don’t ever believe that. Weakness has nothing to do with our inability to control our emotions, especially when there are all sorts that a human can feel. This is our unique quality- one that makes us who we are, so we can experience life fully and let it shape us into a wholesome person. If you can be positive go right ahead, don’t think that you’re fooling yourself to be strong. You probably are strong enough. If you want to weep and wallow in self -pity, just do it until you feel all better inside. Nobody should be telling you to stop unless you’re ready. You’re responsible to act on your feelings- that’s something that should be respected as long as you’re not doing any harm to anyone or yourself. Those feelings, no matter what they may be, are yours and yours alone.

Gerunds on the Run


For something you’re not even sure of


You’ve been through this before


Aching, confusing, revolting, sinking feelings

A heady mixture of everything

Are you doing the right thing

By doing nothing





Unwilling to do anything

But simply waiting.

Alone once more

Shield away from the heat

By the muscular arms stretching out dutifully

Providing what little protection that it possibly can

And here beneath the dull blue sky

The open space spreads far and wide

In its emptiness quiet sobs echo in the breeze

As they settle amongst unsuspecting leaves

The air is heavy with anticipation

Waiting and wondering of the mysterious arrival

How faithfully she’s been there with the changing time

Never questioning not even a sigh

Holding on to the promise

They’ll be seeking her in time to unload and reflect

Or maybe even for the offer of comfort

Listen-the crushing dirt and swishing grass

Making its way here at last

Come. Sit.

Waiting is over for now

Stay as long as you wish


Here For A Reason

Objects of Affection

Of all the senses, I truly value the gift of vision. Without a doubt the rest are equally important, but being able to see can bring much joy in the experience that it creates. Looking at the amazing sights of nature calm my troubled mind and leave me with hope to keep striving. The vibrant colours that catch our eyes as well as the dullness of humans’ mistakes, provide an interesting contrast in this world. Even the murkiest river and the barren desert are beautiful in their own right. It’s not what you see but how you feel by taking in the whole big picture. When I’m stuck indoors and need a quick pick-me-up, I’ll turn to my inspiration board and let my eyes soak in the wonderment of beauty in the cut-outs. They are a unique mixture of objects, people and places that remind me about this wonderful life…to live, to love, to enjoy, to appreciate while it lasts.