Happiness is doing things that bring joy to your heart and put a smile on your face.
My fun loving teen loves the sense of thrills running through his veins. Stuff that makes his heart jumps and skips a beat are often deliberately sought out. He’s always game for any adventurous pursuits or scary rides at theme parks. This boy rarely thinks twice before getting himself in what a sensible adult considers dangerous.
Then there’s the tween who’s an avid collector of everything under the sun. When other kids played with toys, he started his collection of Barney the dinosaur and The Wiggles VCDs. Since young he developed a great sense of navigation to where the shops can be found in a mall. Each year there’d be something new that caught his attention. Once it was the Beatles and he spent hours googling about their life and looking up for memorabilia on eBay. Thank goodness he didn’t pester us to buy any!
As for Little Missy, she’s an outdoorsy kind of girl who enjoys going about with our neighbour’s boys. Riding her bike, playing footie and running around. After becoming confident to ride without the stabilizers, she coached her friends to do the same. Little Missy often gets annoyed when hearing girls and boys shouldn’t play the same games or be good friends. A good thing though, she has her own mind and is not listening to those party poopers.
My 3 year old bambam, is exactly like her older sister, but much braver and bolder. That’s not really a problem until you realized she’s only a little girl who has no sense of danger…just like her eldest brother!
One thing for sure, we should learn something from the kids. No matter what, be happy in your own skin by doing stuff that makes you feel good.
So, tell me what’s yours?
There’s no such thing as a perfect parenting.
Parenting has its moments. The good, the bad and the ugly. Neither predictable nor understandable, every event unfolds the way it wishes to be. No amount of preparations from attending workshops to self-help books, that can provide the answers to new or seasoned parents on the art of bringing up a child. Trust your own judgement and pay close attention to your gut feelings. In fact, it’s terribly useful to sharpen your common sense for it will be an asset to have on you.
With my brood of four, there’s a basic guideline that I follow for general use. Whether it’s for achieving milestones or disciplining them, I leave some space for improvisation, and I definitely improvised a lot. What seems to work for one won’t necessarily bring similar result with the others. Naturally, taking into account individual’s personality and circumstances, my approach varies accordingly. It’s not a foolproof method but it allows me to make mistakes and deal with the outcome objectively.
Emotional outbursts and moments of dejection are aplenty, but these are normal in all relationships. Crying your heart out is truly the best way to clear the broken system, well that’s how I see it anyway. With the kids, I let them be until they cool down and ready to chat. Sometimes I get impatient too. Sarcasm and angry words would flow without stopping. My bad.
A successful parenting should not be measured by the outward achievements of a child. See what’s within him as a person and how he fits in the society with his faults and all. Has he got the right balance of empathy and selfishness, in order to get along with others, but not being taken advantage of? Can he function as an individual and at the same time contribute to his community?
Perfection has zero value in the real world. So does perfect parenting.