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Just The Way Things Are

Self-belonging needs

validation and respect

mutually shared.

Being connected 

becoming uncommonly

rare in the real time.

Sustaining friendship

through social media are such

a blessing these days.

Fleeting happiness

lives longer in memory.

and ever lasting.

G’bye June, Hello July!

With the many things that took place in the month of June, the weeks felt short as the days blurred by. Honestly I didn’t get a chance to digest and think properly, but had to let everything washed over me. Now I’m left with a combination of mixed feelings and a strange aftertaste. 

Since it was also the holy month of Ramadhan for the Muslims, observing the obligatory fasting somehow affected my night time sleep. I ended up taking too many short naps in the day which was pretty unusual for me. As a result, sluggishness was hard to rid off and it stayed a bit longer than expected.

Anyhow despite the erratic rhythm in June, there were abundance of blessings sprinkled on my path. Alhamdulillah. All praises to Allah for His love and mercy. 

Let me share my list of gratitude:

Mr Teen was accepted and started the second half of the year at a new school with a smaller class roll. 

Mr Tween and Little Missy showed positive progress in their recent exam. 

For the first time Little Missy tried fasting and managed to do a full day.

Had short catch-up sessions with a couple of good friends.

Secured some freelance jobs for the coming months.

Although my father-in-law is still warded at the hospital, he is steadily recovering.

There are many tests thrown in my direction, but I’m at peace with myself.

As July is approaching, I’m praying for a better time and a fresh start, so I can do things with my eyes wide open and the brain is working well. I’ll do what it takes to live a life worth living while riding through the storms.

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I’m Ugly, So What?

By chance you met someone you haven’t seen for ages on the street, and the first thing she said after the usual airy fairy kisses, 

‘You look fab! Have you lost weight?’

In other words, previously you were looking so so. Nothing worth mentioning or probably too kind to say you were pudgy before and you looked ugly. But what’s up with that? Am I unattractive when my bones aren’t sticking out?

Another example:

‘I love your new hair cut! But you gotta do something about your white hair’

Right. When you love something about someone, nip the buts. Keep the positive and bite your tongue. More people these days are embracing the signs of aging or natural defects proudly, without feeling the urge to wipe them out. And let’s say you’re giving a compliment only to be nice, don’t. Just smile and keep your real thoughts to yourself. 

Oh, and this as well:

‘She’s gorgeous! So lucky to have fair skin’. 

All of us are born with different shades, that are not only made up of fair, medium and dark. Also having skin as white as snow, isn’t the only sign of beauty. However, if you want to go for whitening treatments, obviously nobody should be questioning your choice. 

As for me, I tan easily. Sometimes I’m a latte and I can be a mocha the next minute. Though it doesn’t bother me, I do find it annoying when someone asked,

‘What happened to you? You’re darker now’.

We got to stop these shallow perceptions when commenting on someone’s appearance. Everybody’s beautiful in their own way and that is how it’s meant to be. The standard of beauty should remain highly subjective instead of prescriptive as dictated by others. Appreciate our unique differences and give sincere compliments. No buts and ifs, would be a good start.

‘You’re beautiful’. Full stop. Oh, yes you are 😍

 

Aside

Your Child, Your Style

Parenting has its moments. The good, the bad and the ugly. Neither predictable nor understandable, every event unfolds the way it wishes to be. No amount of preparations from attending workshops to self-help books, that can provide the answers to new or seasoned parents on the art of bringing up a child. Trust your own judgement and pay close attention to your gut feelings. In fact, it’s terribly useful to sharpen your common sense for it will be an asset to have on you. 

With my brood of four, there’s a basic guideline that I follow for general use. Whether it’s for achieving milestones or disciplining them, I leave some space for improvisation, and I definitely improvised a lot. What seems to work for one won’t necessarily bring similar result with the others. Naturally, taking into account individual’s personality and circumstances, my approach varies accordingly. It’s not a foolproof method but it allows me to make mistakes and deal with the outcome objectively.

Emotional outbursts and moments of dejection are aplenty, but these are normal in all relationships. Crying your heart out is truly the best way to clear the broken system, well that’s how I see it anyway. With the kids, I let them be until they cool down and ready to chat. Sometimes I get impatient too. Sarcasm and angry words would flow without stopping. My bad.

A successful parenting should not be measured by the outward achievements of a child. See what’s within him as a person and how he fits in the society with his faults and all. Has he got the right balance of empathy and selfishness, in order to get along with others, but not being taken advantage of? Can he function as an individual and at the same time contribute to his community? 

Perfection has zero value in the real world. So does perfect parenting.

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What Becomes of Humanity?

Nothing is shocking anymore nowadays 

We heard it all before

Serial killers, sexual predators, suicide bombers, 

Abusive partners, evil dictators, merciless militants… 

A long list that doesn’t seem to end

With tyrannies and criminals making newsworthy items 

Make us scream in anger: what the hell is wrong with the world today?

Wanting to feel safe but we’re showered with fear

By the unthinkable that’s senselessly assaulting us

Turning off the media for a temporary relief

Even then

Disasters happily continue to pop up

There could be one in our own backyard

At a nondescript location

Hapless victims silently praying for redemption

Such predicaments that befall the innocents 

Inflicting them with bloody wounds and torturous souls

Permanent scars that resist to heal

Or untimely death just waiting

To end the ordeal

Oh, what’s becoming of humanity

Where is it hiding in this time of need?

Aiza@Lifeissuch 

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The Grandest Gift

There’s so much truth in this. Friendship is truly a gift that you give yourself. Lucky is one who gets to enjoy this privilege to be with one or two, or a tribe of besties, who love them whole heartedly. I have mine and ever so grateful for that!

P/S Dear AJ, let’s not forget our promise when we grow old…we’ll continue to have our endless random chats from politics to husband’s antics, and have a great laugh!