Blessing Twenty-one

An answered prayer, when least expected. Just shows that God is always listening.

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Blessing Eleven

When others are curious about your life, let them in. You don’t have to like them, but do be cordial during their stay…it won’t be long before they get bored. Sometimes people come into your life for you to learn something new. It’s not about them, it’s all about you.

Blessing Four

Untie the emotional bind that’s slowing you down, by accepting an apology with an open heart. Moving on, never looking back.

At least you tried

When you plan to right the wrong, you’re so certain that it’s going to work. Every tiny details are analysed carefully in order to eliminate possible errors. Sometimes it takes years of planning with a lot of time and money invested in the process. So, you’re set to carry out the plans once everything is in place. However, whether you like it or not, you’ll never be the one who makes that final call. The probability of success is always a 50-50 chance. Just be sure you can accept it with an open heart…for at least you tried.

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Growth

Growing up aren’t just for young ones and teens. Even adults are going through the process without realizing that it’s happening to them. We’re not grown ups. We’re simply grown adults.

Truth

“Only those who care about you can hear you when you’re quiet”

Taking time off from social media can do a lot of good. Having your senses bombarded by all sorts of news and images, from the most beautiful to the extremely disturbing, can directly affect your emotional and mental well – being. Not to mention the in betweens, where you’re super pleased that a long divorced friend is finally married but secretly turning green after seeing her new lavish lifestyle. That’s just an example. There are too many things that can rock your zen, by simply being human.

As you’re enjoying your solitude (away from all the virtual relationships) while being present, to those around you, try to take notice of what’s happening in your life. First, your attentiveness will increase, and you’ll understand why your kids get upset with you previously. Then, you’ll find spare time that seems to disappear whenever you used to be busy in the other world. Next, you’re at peace with everything because your life revolves around those who matters most. And that’s it. No dramas, no competitions, no envies, no headaches from problems that is of no concern to you. Finally, take notice of your real friends and families- the ones you actually mingle with in person. People who care will try to reach you in every possible way or stand outside your front door wondering what in the world is happening to you. They can hear your silence…

As an introvert, I find socialising on social media easier to handle than being out there rubbing shoulders with others. So, to strike a balance, I let my senses decide when I need to take a break and spend some time in ‘solitude’. It works well for me so far…

Money Matters

Next time someone tells you that money is NOT everything, that’s a lie. It is the very thing that we need to stay alive and live well. We can’t survive only on a diet of fresh air, sunlight and water like the plants. Though it would make life a lot simpler by having uncomplicated needs as such.

Nowadays, our living expenses keep rising and it’s mostly unparallelled to the income that’s generated every month. No matter how carefully you plan your budget, something unexpected always crop up. At times you can stretch it, other times you can’t. Then, it becomes a dilemma of priorities where you won’t be able to decide on what’s important anymore.

Money may not be everything and it won’t guarantee happiness. But, ironically, without having enough at our disposal, it’ll be the very thing that causes worries and despair. Relationships get affected, and mental health deteriorates- the kind of snowball effect that probably won’t end too nicely.

Survival in the 21st century requires enough money for the essentials and a little extra on the side. The latter is a must in ensuring a healthier life that’s not burden by financial woes. Of course, having some extra can afford you a pair of super chic shoes that’ll boost your well being and fill your heart with joy. Sometimes, a short term happiness is the answer to a fulfilled life. And obviously thanks to money for making it possible!

Parents, Blow Your Horn

Whether you’re a mum or a dad, a stepmum or a stepdad, a single mum or a single dad, an aunt or an uncle, a grandma or a grandpa, a sister or a brother, a woman or a man who’s responsible for looking after a child, you’re a parenting idol. Being the carer, you’re known as the parent of the child. A role that comes with huge responsibilities and quite a number of occupational hazards.

Because of the risky lifestyle that you keep facing everyday, your amazing achievements in numerous feats that only a parent knows how, should be celebrated. Such as,

  • preparing meals and snacks for a picky eater and a ravenous monster, so they won’t go hungry throughout the day (regardless how the food gets to the table, isn’t an issue here)
  • ensuring a clean supply of clothes for daily wear, despite only seeing the piles of washing that need to be done, in the laundry baskets and on the floor
  • your expertise in finding lost items from the most treasured underwear to the easily missed minuscule hand of a lego minifigure
  • being the most reliable alarm clock that doesn’t run on batteries and can wake everyone at different times, without having to reset it
  • a walking and talking dictionary that possibly has a bilingual option, with interchangeable explanation and translation tools
  • a Google expert who finds the answers by a simple touch and swipe, and best of all, it’s able to function without wifi sometimes
  • a homework helper machine that can provide support and coaching in most areas of the curriculum- when it can’t, the Google expert will step in
  • a life skills’ coach who teaches those functional stuff like cleaning up after your own mess, boiling water in a kettle for times when a hot water dispenser isn’t available, taking trash out on collection day, washing dishes before there’s none left to use, turning off electricity when not in use for energy conservation and saving costs etc.
  • fixing things using tapes, super glue and whatnots
  • DIY, art projects and research work advisor
  • kisssing countless boo- boos to make it better and tries hard to believe that it actually works
  • highly sought after problem solver who’s on demand round the clock
  • a skilful driver, professional chauffeur and bodyguard all rolled into one

Though being a parent can be a nightmare at times, do know that you’re doing just fine by loving and caring for your children in the best possible way. No one should undermine what or how you do it. As a parent, you’re simply wonderful ❤

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Words Wonder

Breathe in deeply, exhale slowly.

Love wholeheartedly.

Mindfulness matters a great deal.

Spread good vibes only.

Today was a good day, even if all you did was breathing and living.

Always have faith, and never stop believing in it.

Free your mind, body and soul.

Keep hope alive until your last breath.

Let’s coffee…coffee makes you happy. Trust me.

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Trying.Hard.Hope

Say you’ve given your all as you trudge through trying times, but still end up in a dark tunnel that’s leading to nowhere. What should you do?

Naturally, giving up seems like the most likeliest choice. After all, what else is there when you’ve tried everything, with the hope of arriving at the solution. Yes, you hope. And hoping is the very thing that keeps you going as long as you believe in it.

We are powerless in avoiding life’s uncertainties, no matter how carefully everything is planned. But hope allows us to have a little glimmer of possibilities when there’s nothing much for us to grasp. Without hope, there’s only an emptiness in the soul, that becomes a setback in facing challenging times. It’s like giving up before the race even starts.

So, chin’s up and carry on. Let hope keeps you warm, no matter what comes your way or how it’s going to end. Have confidence that hope will see you through.

Pinky Promise

To my precious brood,

Growing up is a journey heading towards the unknown. In its path, there are plenty of adventures that you’ll recall with great fondness or will leave you scarred for life. Of course there are also the in-betweens. Memories that you won’t be able to remember, but would resurface from a sudden trigger that comes out of nowhere. However, don’t let your fear of the uncertainties stop you from experiencing life fully. Be a curious adventurer and brave through the storms as best as you can, by using all the skills and wisdom that you’ve acquired along the way. Looking back, you’ll feel a sense of pride for getting to where you are.

But, remember: when you’re over the moon and can’t keep your feet on the ground, I shall be there pulling you down. When you feel lost and disheartened, I’ll firmly hold your hand, guiding you until you’re ready to let go. When you’re too full of yourself, I’ll give you a smart slap to pop that bubble, so you’ll be humble again. If you need someone to listen, I’ll be all ears. If you want a shoulder to cry on, I’ll be ready with a hanky. If you think you’re unworthy, do know you’re the most valuable gift- unforgettable, unexchangeable, irreplaceable gift in my life.

Thanks to you I get to taste the bittersweet journey that is filled with unimaginable adventures. Sometimes they’re so overwhelming that I want to call it quit. Sometimes they’re light and fluffy that I keep wishing for more.

I will always be your champion, darling. Never ever doubt. That’s my job, and that’s what I’m good at. Being your champion for life.

Love, Mum.

Because It’s Questionable

If you could, would you turn back the clock and fiddle with the past for a more favourable outcome?

Did you envision any of the circumstances that shape your (then) future?

What are the impacts on your life now?

Are you yearning for something different?

Why do you have children, if you aren’t ready for parenthood?

Having children of your own, don’t you agree that a mum knows best?

Would you work and travel extensively before settling down to raise your kids?

Have you ever thought of changing your career when unfounded criticism got the best of you?

When you hit your lowest low, did you ever feel like giving up everything?

Your family and children are always above your own needs. Why?

As you go through a rough patch, have you ever questioned your faith in God?

Can’t you simply accept what life dishes out without complaining?

I used to believe that I wouldn’t entertain such thoughts. In reality, the questions would be playing in my head like a broken record accompanied by a terrible pain in my heart. Such is the human heart- mushy and easily troubled over things it has no control.

But we mustn’t let the undesirable results of our choices drag us down. Try to remember the times when you got it right and how it lifted your spirit for as long as you allow it. Do the same when it’s not. Acknowledge the hurt, note the lesson learnt and move on. You’re still in control of your life. It’s your decision to dwell in the regretful past or lead a life worth living. After all, life is about choices and consequences.

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Learners for Life

No one can teach you unless you’re willing to learn. Leave your pride behind, keep an open mind and be a gracious receiver. Know that learning is a process of discovery, so your attitude matters to ascertain what you’ll gain out of the experience. Learning doesn’t stop when the lesson ends. That’s just the beginning.

Just The Way Things Are

Self-belonging needs

validation and respect

mutually shared.

Being connected

becoming uncommonly

rare in the real time.

Sustaining friendship

through social media are such

a blessing these days.

Fleeting happiness

lives longer in memory.

and ever lasting.

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Stuff

I have this little craving

That comes in a box of Roses

To pop each one and munching

Zero care for the impact it poses.

I have this tiny longing

For a South Korea holiday

Seoul- Busan- Jeju island hopping

Promising good times all the way.

I have an itsy bitsy yearning 

For Longchamp totes collection

Solid hues would be a go-to thing

While cherry blossoms are my obsession.

I have a wee bit hankering

Soul searching on a mountain retreat

Hiking, meditating, sleeping and writing 

But wifi free can be a real huge feat.

I have this strong wanting

A cuppa hot mocha with cream 

Forget the calories counting

Letting lose in this sugary dream.

I have a lingering thought

And it got to stop now

It truly really ought

To stop this stomach growl.

L.I.E.S

A friend once asked how everything was with my life then. She found most of the posts here a little bleak and wondered if I was okay. Maybe just maybe, the dark undertones were undeniably present. Anyhow I gave the standard positive reply …things couldn’t have been any better. A huge smile plastered across my face. Yup. That was it. But that was a lie.

Why would one lie about feelings? Isn’t it easier to spill it out so the world won’t get a chance to misunderstand? What’s there to lose but a couple of minutes, or a dry throat, or a bucket of tears, or simply some dignity?

All I know is this. I’m not comfortable reaching out to others over my troubles, no matter how big or small. These battles are mine to fight and I will do exactly that. When you see me and have a hunch that I’m struggling, just do one thing. Give me a genuine smile and a warm hug, then say a prayer quietly in your head. I’d appreciate it a lot. Really.

Randomness at 40 ++

When you’re above 40

  • Although immuned to flattery, you can’t deny that it totally gets you when someone younger thinks you’re of the same age.
  • You’re either mellower or more opinionated about everything that’s happening in the world.
  • Being comfortable in your own skin is a gift that you wish for yourself. 
  • To be described as cool, no matter how corny it sounds, adds springs to your steps. 
  • In your mind, you stop growing past a certain age. If you have children, they get older every year on their birthday, but you remain ageless.
  • You come to terms that some friendships don’t last and it’s not anyone’s fault.
  • Spending money on a skincare is a must, but make-up takes a backseat.
  • It’s a proud moment when you’re no longer judgemental of other women, and embrace them in sisterhood.
  • The realization that your mum knows best is almost 80% accurate.
  • You know for sure that money can’t buy happiness. But it can provide a life that you can enjoy and experience that goodness.
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Who Do You Missed, Ms?

I miss teaching. But more than that I’m missing students who are attached to me for the whole academic year. Being involved in their learning journey, discovering new stuff together and watching them grow as a learner and an individual is one of the most heart warming experience. It’s like that proud parent moment when your child reaches his milestones. There would be tough times for sure, but it would be forgotten far too soon.

Some of my fond memories stretched back almost two decades ago during my first year of teaching. Those kids are now adults who are either working or studying in universities. Their childlike faces in my photos collection, are precious reminder of how I was a part of their childhood. Hopefully, they’ll think fondly of me sometimes.

The reality is teachers don’t need awards or recognitions to fuel their passion. As long as their memory lives on in the hearts of their students, they’ll carry on teaching until the end. One day I’d love to meet my little people and ask them, “What are you up to guys?”

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Keep Going, Don’t Stop

Quit is a ‘four-letter word’ that should only be used when there’s no other way to go, but the end. Just carry on if you can…only stop for a breather.

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Ditch that Thought 

There’s nothing more depressing than the feeling of helplessness while seeing everything spiralling out of control. Like the moment you knocked down a jug of milk but was unable to grab it before it came crashing to the floor. Instantly thoughts of cleaning up hit you and that itself upset your whole being. The mess, the stickiness, the scattered pieces of chinaware… But it doesn’t have to be this way.

Things can be fixed, only death is permanent. So we should do what we can to make things better and lighten up a little. There’s no need for melodrama. Leave it to the producers of TV shows and movies to make money out of it. Instead, try fixing a broken object/ heart/ relationship or anything within the humanely power that we possess. Your heart will bloom with gratitude and signals this to the brain. Which results in a positive outlook to life, no matter how bleak it may be, there’s always a beauty wriggling its way out.

Keep nasty out of business and help goodness to prevail.