Killing Time

People say all sorts of things

Just to fill the void

I keep fiddling with my rings

Trying not to be annoyed.

Some are genuinely nice

While others are clearly not

They freely give advice

But I’m not easily bought.

My poor head is pounding

As the chatters continue

This fake smile is thinning

Though none takes the cue.

How sad if my end is here

Drowning in a mindless chat

It’s not death that I fear

But the fact of where I’m at.

I’d rather be lost in solitude

Having silence for company

Enduring with great fortitude

Away from chattery tyranny.

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Why?

Y

I tell others to be strong

But here I am crumbling inside

I always say don’t bottle up your feelings

But I put a tight lid on mine

I stress on letting go

But I find myself not moving on

I keep saying it’s going to be okay

But I’m losing hope for a better day

I encourage positivity

But I’m letting darkness gets the best of me.

Oh, why then am I telling these lies?

Hey Change, So Glad You Made It!

Change is here, can you see her coming?

Amid joyous cheers and victorious chanting.

Her head’s held high, but her cheeks are wet,

Tears of happiness are gladly met.

Though the air is heady, her footsteps steady

After all this time, she’s absolutely ready.

Change is here, can you see her there?

Give her a hand and show that you care.

Can’t guarantee what tomorrow will bring,

Only this is certain; change is happening.

What’s the Price?

If sacrifice has a value

How much would you rate it?

To go through extreme measures

Enduring countless challenges

Giving it all without questioning

Painstakingly exercising patience

In the name of sacrifice

Is it ultimately worth it?

Where glory is never to be found

Tho heartaches are aplenty

Losing yourself in the process

And probably some dignity

What is it then

If sacrifice has a value?

Only You Don’t Know

You’re a racist. Yes, you are. Listen to the way you speak. Look at the way you stare. When no one’s listening. When no one’s aware. You’re a racist. Yes, you are.

You’re a racist. I’ve seen your smirk. I’ve observed your twitch. You’re a racist. I’ve sniffed your silent disgust. I’ve sensed your offensive vibes. You’re a racist.

Oh yes, you are.

halo effect

Don’t judge the book by its cover

is a real cliché

first look is everything

says everybody around me

how can we be sure of someone we know

but still a stranger?

We’ve been together on and off

according to the weather

it’s been this way between us

together but not in the right sense

i can never say i know him

as he’s different every time we met.

From his appearance and reputation

he’s a bad lot but he’s not

when i think he’s not he is

for he admits it he’s bad

a bad person won’t say he’s bad

as a mad person won’t say he’s mad

perhaps he’s bad and i’m scared

for he has great effect on me.

Mysterious Beauty

A laughter that rings the sweetest of melody

Like a symphony echoing on the mountain top

With an engaging smile spreading ray of light

Its golden halo stretching miles apart

And as hopeful admirers keep wishing for more

She vanishes as quickly as she appears.

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Missing Mojo

My mojo’s gone missing,

I wonder where she’s been,

Spending my time looking,

But she’s nowhere to be seen.

She loves hiding in my car,

Cruising happily on the highway,

Doesn’t matter near or far,

We enjoy each other anyway.

Hopefully she’ll come back soon,

I’m missing her very much,

She lights the darkness like the moon,

My life is dull without her touch.

A Choice

Today choose to see

Kindness and generosity

Today choose to hear

Words of positivity

Today choose to utter

Uplifting sincerity

Today choose to share

Meaningful story

Today choose to be

Nothing but humanely

broken doll

There’s a tiny closet, jam packed from floor to ceiling, with assorted boxes of every sizes, haphazardly stacked, precariously standing, that’ll topple at a touch.

Inside a hat box, lives a doll, forever waiting for prince charming, he hasn’t been there, he’s unaware of it, would anyone know, a doll that needs rescuing?

She often dreams of the day, of seeing her prince, to be set free, to live amongst the living, no more feeling lonely, with her knight by her side, the path seems bright, everything sparkles, even the rain feels right.

The doll continues to dream, she’s full of hope, but life carries a different story, one that it doesn’t show.

Inside a hat box lives a doll, she’s been there for years, a disfigured face with a beautiful soul, her body’s broken but her heart’s full of hope, no bitterness, no regret, not an ounce of hatred for the person who broke her.

Fate

Muddy fields

Barren lands

Fallen leaves

Rotten fruits

Wilted flowers

Dying plants

Dried earth

Death by nature.

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Do You Believe

Do you believe in fairy tales

Where dreams do come true

And good guys always win the race

And live happily ever after too

Fluffy cotton candy clouds

Showering gum drops down below

On a fancy castle or a gingerbread house

Sets on a valley of green meadow

Fairy dusts and magic spells

Sprinkled paths of magical quest

Possibilities aplenty in this hopeful land

But reality got to take a rest.

Zarif@16

12th November 2017

Zarif, on this day, I’d like you to know your important role in my discovery of motherhood. An exhilarating journey with numerous ups and downs, twists and turns, broken hearts and happy tears. But undoubtedly, a heart full of unconditional love for all my children. A love like no other that goes beyond the unthinkables in this world.

You’re my baby, my pain, my love, my worries, my heart, my headache, my smile, my frown, my pride, my stress, my joy, my nightmare, my strength, my weakness, my champion, my enemy, my laughter, my tears, my motivation, my despair, my everything there is there. You’re my son.

Happy Sixteenth Birthday, darling!

Go on and chase your dreams for life’s too short to live with regrets. Tomorrow’s not a promise, but today’s a new day.

Loving you with all my heart, Mummy ❤

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And There Are Four

One

Not two

Three would do

Four should be more

Fun

Says who?

Loud chaotic days

Messy home endless laundry

Tantrums

Attention seekers

Rules get ignored

Deafening screams contagious laughter

Quiet

Red alert

Beware troubles brewing

Catastrophe about to begin

Teen

And Tween

Equally troublesome as

Terrible 3 & Snappy 7

Four

Just four

Already I’m floored

Four too many, no?

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Lost

I’m lost.

You showed the way

I couldn’t see

You held my hands

Led me through

With each step

My trust grew

My faith rebuilt

My sanity restored

You never gave up

But

I’m still lost.

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It’s Not You

Didn’t mean to hurt your feeling,

Wouldn’t even dream to see you cry;

How horrible to see you hurting,

I desperately want to die.

Everything became so twisted,

Nothing could be undone;

Some might say it was fated,

But I wished that I could run.

When your eyes were glazed and wet,

My heart was smashed to million pieces;

Yours was equally broken too, I bet,

Would it be enough with sorry and kisses?

I wanted to embrace you badly,

But my arms were frozen like ice;

You stared ahead blankly,

I didn’t even know how to apologise.

The silence was deadly deafening ,

And emotions were in chaos;

Your cold eyes remained unblinking,

The air filled with utmost loss.

Should I begin with sorry?

Would that take the sting away?

Would you believe such sob story,

When there’s nothing else to say?

Just The Way Things Are

Self-belonging needs

validation and respect

mutually shared.

Being connected

becoming uncommonly

rare in the real time.

Sustaining friendship

through social media are such

a blessing these days.

Fleeting happiness

lives longer in memory.

and ever lasting.

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What Becomes of Humanity?

Nothing is shocking anymore these days

We heard it all before

Serial killers, sexual predators, suicide bombers,

Abusive partners, evil dictators, merciless militants…

A long list that doesn’t seem to end

With tyrannies and criminals making newsworthy items

Make us scream in anger: what the hell is wrong with the world today?

Wanting to feel safe but often showered with fear

By the unthinkable acts that are assaulting us senseless

Turning off the media for a temporary relief

Even then

Disasters rampantly continue to pop up

There could be one in our own backyard

At a nondescript location

Hapless victims silently praying for redemption

Such predicaments that befall the innocents

Inflicting them with bloody wounds and torturous souls

Permanent scars that resist to heal

Or untimely death just waiting

To end the ordeal

Oh, what’s becoming of humanity

Where is it hiding in this time of need?

Aiza@Lifeissuch

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Please Mr. Postman 

Please Mr. Postman. Please drop by. Bring me some cheer. Need a reason to smile. Show some love please. Don’t make me cry. You’re my hero. I’m your number 1 fan.