I used to plan for mini projects to be carried out over my school holidays. They’d be something to look forward to as well as a way of organizing my time at home. Planning and setting reminders gave me so much pleasure then! And of course that sense of achievement right at the end, was a real ego booster that’d keep me afloat throughout the downtime. What I failed to realize was how my brain tricked me into thinking that I wasn’t working, when undeniably I was. So sad. For some, a personal project is nothing more than time-fillers, but I treated each one as though someone would appraise the end product: submitted, assessed, graded.
Now that awareness has kicked in, I allowed myself to be more flexible with my plans. Obviously I still run a schedule for my projects, but I’ll try to make some leeway when something unexpected comes up. It used to upset me when a plan was ruined by unsuspecting ‘offender’, not anymore though. I’d be slightly annoyed, period. There’s nothing to fuss because it allows me the chance of taking a break, one that I won’t take under normal circumstances! I still need to be less rigid and simply try to enjoy not having any plans, even if it makes me crazy; it doesn’t last long. Better that than being sick with anxiety 🙄