Lately at home, I had many fallings out with my tween boy. It would be about the most mundane things like asking him to pack his bag for school or telling him to have dinner or reminding him to start his homework. His negative reaction was as though he was told to do something unreasonably hard. He became obnoxious and rude. Sometimes he simply walked away while I was still having a go at his behaviour. That really gets me all the time for I can’t tolerate rudeness in any forms from anyone.
If I was in a mindful parenting mode, usually I would let it slide and even spoke in my most understanding voice and left him to calm down. After all, he’s a child who’s going through many changes and I’m an adult who should behave with utmost consideration towards a growing child. Since I know the facts behind his irrational behaviour, I should be able to handle this tween tantrum like a pro. Unfortunately that’s not the case for a burnt out mum, just like many others out there who are tired, sleep deprived and lacked of a good rest. So I turned into an ugly monster with a totally repulsive manner. Tsk tsk tsk.
I must admit, as much as I was upset with my son, my uncalled-for overreaction was shameful to say the least. Thank goodness there’s no CCTV to catch the drama because I’d probably be seen unfit for parenting. But I know that’s not true. Raising children is a challenging job that requires compassion (for yourself and the child), forgiveness (accept the imperfections), humour (lighten up, see the funny side), knowledge and skills (read, learn, talk to others) and positiveness (nothing is permanent, better days will eventually appear and it’s all a phase anyway). Not forgetting, it’s important to look after our own needs to be a better functioning parent. A sound mind and body make a lot of difference in the way we handle a crisis 🙂
Back to my tween, he’s popular among his friends for his cool and pleasant ways. He loves jokes and has a contagious laughter that’s just so adorable. The adults find him polite and mature beyond his age…looks like he’s on the right path! In the meantime, I must continue practising my breathing exercise and have faith that this too shall pass. One day I’ll look back and wonder what’s the fuss all about.